Bound by Scarlet
by MacaroniWithExtraCheese
Summary: The worst part of holding the memories is not the pain. It's the loneliness of it. Memories need to be shared. Rating will change to M in later chapters. T rating for swearing.
1. Sea of Memories

A/N Okay this came out faster than I thought, so the next chapter might not come out very fast _ Just a note, I'm writing this while being very down so expect a lot of melodramatic writing and some soppy parts :P lol

Apart from that this idea has been nibbling at the back of my head for some time. I have been not all that eager to write it, but the more I thought about the more the idea just made sense.

So here's me hoping characters are in character, hoping the story is good enough, and praying I got everything right! If you feel there is something I need to change please let me know I appreciate any help given and I take it to heart. So... hope you enjoy :D

* * *

Sea of Memory

_He knelt in the ash, the small specs of residue still drifting down from the toxic heavens. The sky, the clouds, the ground and the dust all the same. His hands and clothes stained by the dark grey soot that clung to his lungs and burned his throat._

_All grey and dull, all quiet and dead, except for the scarlet sash that lay by his knees._

_He blinked, starring at the only colour this world held. It shimmered._

_Slowly, as if his neck ran on greased gears, did he lift his gaze to stare out at the never ending dead landscape that stretched out before him. Empty, cold and alone. His chest tightened a despairing fear clawing up through his soul but he bit down the cry that threatened to tear at his raw and burning throat. There was no one there. They'd all been swallowed by the dust. He was alone._

_Soft silk tightened around his wrist and he gasped at the sudden pull. He looked down to find his hands bound by shimmering red, the beautiful sash pulling him down into the residue. _

_No! He pulled back, trying to break free but his knees were sinking, and when he unfolded his legs they simply disappeared into the earth._

_The silk wrapped around his face, mouth preventing him from screaming, and clinging to him as the earth swallowed him into its cold depths. _

Jushiro awoke with the cold fear still clinging to him. The calm sea of his spirit now sloshed and raged within. He rolled onto his back, his sheets soaked through and his hands still shaking from the remnants of the dream.

Memories surfaced and raged in the sea, demanding to be heard but he couldn't decipher them, he never could. He draped an arm over his eyes and let out a tired shaky breath, and waited for the scarlet dream to leave him.

* * *

The sun filtered down from soft clouds, cascading the world in bright oranges and yellows. Soft whispers of winter winds swept through the leaves, rustling them gently almost caringly giving gentle warning of the inevitable cold to come.

Jushiro Ukitake walked down the small path in his Division's garden, a tranquillity sweeping over him as he breathed in the scents of late summer, his spirit now a calm ocean that soothed his mind. The cold winds were coming, and the leaves were beginning to colour. Soon they would fall and coat the earth with a blanket of oranges and yellows. He looked up at the dying light, smiled and thought, 'like dropping the sky to the earth,'

He smirked, and shook his head.

Shunsui would be pleased at his poetic views.

His two shadows had left him for the day. He wasn't entirely sure why they had, perhaps they had sensed his moody disposition and had given him some space, but he was thankful for the break nonetheless. He appreciated their antics but some days it was just a little too much, and today he was grateful for the stillness, calmness and the chance to be alone in the garden he loved so much.

He puffed out a content sigh and continued down the path that would take him to the cherry blossoms. They weren't blooming but it was still such a beautiful area.

It had taken time for the dream to settle last night, more so than usual and this afternoon had found him wandering the gardens in the hopes of calming his soul. He rarely thought of his nightmares once they were over with. There wasn't much one could do against the subconscious, and in his life he had learned that the mind could overcome anything given enough time.

_Time_.

His brow furrowed.

That was something his musings seemed obsessed with these days. Past time in particular. Old memories he'd forgotten would swim to the surface in the calm sea of his soul and he couldn't deny the attention they seek. Yet it did nothing for his spirit, if anything it only depressed him.

Old memories were of things that he'd lost, of things he could not find again nor regain. Old memories brought bitter laughter usually paired with tired tears.

Even now walking down this path he could not help but note the changes only two thousand years of memories could recall. Trees that he'd watched grow in his youth and had died in his prime. Old ponds that had been destroyed, and never rebuilt. Even the path he walked now had changed, nothing was truly constant and in some respects it troubled him.

Nothing lived forever, not even the dusty path that led through an eternal garden. In years to come it will alter and shape to the peoples feet and come another two thousand years the path will lead you away from the original destination.

He sighed. Time changed _everything_, and not always for the better.

Jushiro stopped in his wandering. He sensed the reiatsu long before it spiked, and he smiled wirily at his own predicament. No rest for the weary then. He could always greet them before they spoke but it always felt it rude. He might be able to sense them even if they were trying to hide but that didn't mean he should take advantage of friends.

It never felt right.

So he waited for the familiar reiatsu to catch up.

"Senpai," the rich voice said behind him.

"Byakuya," he replied turning around to face the stoic noble, and in eyes as cold as steel another memory drifted up from the sea. Of a passionate young boy ready to take on the world, bristling with life and such open happiness. A sudden sadness crept up, effectively disturbing the quiet ocean, and for a moment he felt the beginnings of an old regret pull at his heart. He frowned softly.

It was always the same. People he cared about either turned from him, changed to such an extent that they forgot him or they simply died. They drifted and weathered away, and left him standing in the cold desolate world alone to stay strong for everyone still left. There were a precious few stable things in his life, and he was grateful for them. But deep down his heart wondered when he would lose them. When they would begin to weather and drift away and leave him too. It was then that the burning fear would tug at his soul. Some nights he would wake up gasping for breath, still seeing their cold dead eyes against the blackness and _knowing_ that one day they won't be there anymore. The thought terrified him.

"Ukitake-taichou?"

He looked up and was startled to find Byakuya suddenly so close to him with a crinkle of worry on his face. Realization soon dawned.

"I am sorry, Byakuya" he said comfortingly at the slightly concerned face, "I am just a little tired today,"

"I shall return tomorrow," the noble said and turned to leave.

"No!" he said, and almost laughed at the speed he whipped back, "I didn't mean it like that," he smiled disarmingly, "I don't get much company these days. Please stay we can have some tea if you want,"

Byakuya waved him off with an elegant hand, "There will be no need. I simply have a question for you, senpai"

He nodded and gestured to a nearby bench, "Then let us be seated at least,"

Byakuya nodded and carefully sat down on the stone bench, his back ramrod straight and his eyes staring out at the small pond where the koi splashed happily. Ukitake followed suit and settled himself next to the pristine noble. He remembered years ago when he had just started at the academy, how nervous he'd been around the high nobles, how careful he'd treaded and painfully polite he'd been.

Shunsui had cured him of that bug quick enough, and today he could happily tease them and understand that underneath all those expensive clothes and immaculate looks they were still human.

"You have me on pins and needles Byakuya," he teased gently when the younger man didn't speak "You'd better ask your question before I burst with anticipation, and then you'll have to clean up,"

It had the desired effect; he turned to him with narrowed eyes and gave him _that_ glare. The one reserved for only the people who had annoyed him one too many times. Ukitake felt vaguely proud he was counted among them. It was always so much fun to tease the man.

He smiled in the face of the cold glare and watched with fascination as a scarlet silk sash was pulled from the inside of his Kimono. The nightmare skimmed the edges of his mind but he brushed them away. There were many scarlet sashes, he did believe in coincidence after all.

"Is this yours?"

He blinked at the question, it took him by surprise but he took a closer look. It was long, silk and very well cared for. Memories stirred the waters, tugging at his subconscious. They were old memories he had buried years ago. He reached up and took the beautiful item from the ivory fingers, and turning it over he spied his name written in an all too familiar hand writing on the outside rim.

_Red silk buried in grey soot._

The smooth fabric felt too familiar in his fingers, the weight held a threat in it that he could not name, the recollections now stirred the waters, creating choppy waves which gently nudged his conscious mind. As if guided by instinct he turned it around and searched the corner.

A small dark stain, like a drop of blemish that lay bare on the silk stared back at him, taunting the guards that kept the impending rush of memory at bay. His finger traced the stain…

_The sash tightened around his neck._

…And the storm rolled in flooding his mind with a thundering crash only he could hear as the memories stormed through his soul.

_"This binds you to me"_

His throat went dry.

* * *

Sorry for the cliffy... but I'll try and update soon, next chapter won't end in cliffy cross my heart!


	2. Stone Resolve

Rated T for a suggestive themes and a mini-rant

NOTE TO SELF: Pick characters that will _work_ in a story. -_-

I've got; Byakuya who Is too damned proud to ask about other people's emotions and Ukitake who is too damned honourable to actually say anything… fuck this was a hard fucking chapter to fucking write…

FUCK!

Byakuya: "It is no one's fault but your own that you didn't think this through before starting,"

Me: "Shut-up, Byakuya! If you weren't such stuck up dick with a stick up his ass this story would have been fucking awesome!"

Jushiro: "You really shouldn't be using such language"

Me: "Fuck you, Jushiro and don't get me started on your goody two shoes attitude, I swear if you don't man up, I will break both of your zanpaktos, and I don't mean your sword,"

Jushiro: O_o

Byakuya: -_-

* * *

Stone Resolve

He watched him like stone. Like an ancient gargoyle might gaze at the passers-by beneath his perch. Indifferent, cold but ever lasting. Byakuya never cared much for the feelings of others. The relentless downpour of rabid emotions could so easily chip and erode away his carefully built stone resolve to break open the fires within him. It was something he would not tolerate.

Yet watching him now it... stirred something in him. He never hated weakness, he despised cowardice but weakness was not something he disregarded easily. Everyone has a weakness but one could easily turn it into a strength and utilize it in battle. That lesson had been taught to him by the very man that he now watched with a hint of worry.

The emotions were pouring down. Like an endless rush of water they sprayed and slammed against his resolve.. Usually he would move, huddle deeper into his small archway, careful to avoid the ever lasting cold tears. But this was his senpai. A man he cared for, the very man who had taught him so much.

Yet it still was easier to step away.

And so he kept his polite, and indifferent distance.

The wind whipped at the leaves as the silence reigned between them. Ukitake's eyes were unfocused, and a blank expression had claimed his usually happy and animated features. They were silent, almost cold. He seemed to have turned inward, seeming to block out the world that pressed in around him.

And he watched as a pale finger traced the small blemish.

As eyes dulled and fingers trembled.

..and Byakuya lifted his stone gaze to the pouring heavens. Taking care not to get caught in the downpour but watching the skies to see why they were so restless.

"Senpai?" he finally asked when the ever lasting silence did not break.

Ukitake blinked owlishly, and then looked up at him. For a moment his eyes would not focus, they remained distant, inward and dull. He blinked rapidly and soon the blank expression faded to be replaced by the old familiar smile, "Forgive me," he said shaking his head, his white hair swaying with the movement "I drift off sometimes,"

Byakuya nodded in acceptance but was unconvinced. He could still feel the inevitable downpour of emotions but he could not decipher them. Whether they were fear, anger or sorrow he wasn't certain and in the years he had known his teacher he also knew he was well endowed to hide what he deemed fit.

So still he waited and watched. His stone resolve holding strong against the waters.

"Where did you find it?" Ukitake asked still gripping the bright sash in both hands, tracing the blemish with one finger.

"In my late grandfather's study," he said watching him with interest, "Yet you did not answer my question. And you know I do not favour repeating myself"

Ukitake smiled disarmingly now staring at the bright silk, "I was not trying to avoid the question Byakuya," he said, "I simply wished to know where you found it. And why would you think it is mine?"

He was smiling that open smile that would put a raging hollow at ease. It radiated with honesty, kindness and an openness one does not find today any more. It was old, comforting and well known, powerful if needed and Byakuya found himself losing himself in it.

He leaned forward and pointed to the name written in his grandfather's hand, "Your name is on it,"

Ukitake nodded, "I can see that," and his eyes closed in serenity, "But I can assure you, it is not mine,"

He gave him a dry look but Ukitake only smiled with the same happiness and power.

_Everything was alright,_ the smile said,_ there's no need to worry._

And he believed him. It was so _easy_ to believe him.

"It is not?" he asked more out of polite interest than to confirm.

"Nope," he said rising, and held out the scarf for him to take. He took it without second thought. "Now if you will excuse me, I must beg my leave." a pale hand gestured in the direction of the thirteenth division, "I have a kitchen to clean. Spending the day trying to recreate an old recipe is no mean feat," he chuckled merrily, "Good day to you Byakuya," he said. He watched as the Captain brushed passed him, they're shoulders bumping-

And Byakuya froze.

Fear, confusion, uncertainty, despair and burning shame swirled into his soul.

His first thought was; _I haven't felt this in over fifty years_.

His second thought followed soon after the shock dissolved; _Is it even possible to hide this behind a smile_?

The raging emotions threatened to engulf him. It pressed against his own barriers, pushing against his defences. The waters rushed towards him, their inner turmoil slammed into his stone resolve.

It would take mere moments for his stone to shatter.

He stepped back his breath coming out in small pants. It had been many years since he had had to confront such overwhelming turmoil. He turned to look at him. In that smiling face he could see a hint of the desperation he had felt swirling so deeply in his soul.

Was Ukitake lying?

He dismissed the thought almost immediately. He didn't lie, it just didn't happen. He was too honourable. Ukitake was a good man, a very good man. He gave everything and never expected anything in return. A selfless being to a fault, if you did not find him he would find you, and then bestow you with outrages gifts. He was there for _everyone_.

But perhaps…

He looked at the happy green eyes as they turned away, his haori billowing out behind him like a cape as the wind picked up. Byakuya gripped the sash tightly.

Perhaps it was time someone reached for him.

"This sash seems to have a hold over you senpai"

And finally he stepped into the pouring rain.

Ukitake froze in his stride, his back rigid and his reiatsu tightly pulled in. He said nothing but he did turn around slowly, his face hidden by a veil of white hair. Byakuya waited for him to say something. The wind still bit with a winter's breath but Ukitake did not say a word.

"It has meaning for you," Byakuya said when no reply was forthcoming, "You are hiding something that is disturbing you more than you are letting on,"

A stiff silence followed. The wind swept past, cradling both in its icy breath. The rigid shoulder slumped slightly.

"Of all the days to be perceptive…" he mumbled with an affectionate smile, "It does mean more," he said before turning around fully, "But you will not be happy with the answers I have to offer, Byakuya." His face was serious, a concept as alien as Shunsui doing paperwork, "Best to leave well enough alone"

"No," he said simply, walking closer.

"No?"

He came a stop a mere two feet from him, his eyes to the ground, "You will not decide what I will and will not hear. I will make that decision,"

"It's not that simple,"

"It-"

Ukitake held up a hand to stop him from elaborating, "You don't know what you're saying," the wind whipped at his white tendrils, "I will never wish you to have a poor thought about your grandfather. He was a good man,"

The sudden dread that pooled in his stomach did not deter him but it did bring forth a cautious step in his words.

"Yet with what you just said, he obviously wasn't" Byakuya stepped forward, "If I believed in a man who was not honourable, it makes me the fool,"

Ukitake shook his head; "No, it doesn't" and smiled with something a king to loss, turning to look at the darkening sky, "It just makes you loyal, good, perhaps a little naive," he chuckled "and quite adorable for the SWA"

"Senpai…" Byakuya warned, his patience beginning to wear thin.

He chuckled again and placed a hand on his shoulder. Byakuya resisted the urge to shove it off. Ukitake stared at him with a piercing green gaze, and through the touch he could feel the raging emotions, the cold fear, the troubling confusion and raging fury. He could scarcely put those emotions to the face. The two were night and day.

Eventually he squeezed his shoulder affectionately, "Not today I think,"

"Ukitake-taichou?" he asked a little confused.

He squeezed his shoulder again, "You have enough burdens to bear,"

Understanding dawned and he shrugged the hand off immediately, "You were never one to pry without permission,"

"And you were never one to answer honestly when it concerns your own mental well being," he said firmly and stepped away from him.

Byakuya narrowed his eyes slightly. "You always taught me the value of honesty," he watched the small frown pull at the pale face, "You told me that honour goes hand in hand with it and that one should never deny another the truth," he stepped forwards once more, "I hold you to your own teachings, _senpai_"

Ukitake inspected the ground.

"I promised myself I would never tell you this," he said, a dark look settled around him, "I never wanted to ruin your marvel of him. Every child needs a hero to look up to,"

"I am not a child anymore," Byakuya said stepping even closer, his scarf brushing against Jushiro's haori as the wind grabbed it.

"No," he turned to smile at him, and quietly replaced the hand on his thin shoulder, "But you always will be to me, kohai"

He stopped himself from shoving the hand off again. It was very tempting but he instead checked his reiatsu and held his resolve against the man's own.

"I will not react poorly," he said as a last resort.

But Ukitake shook his head, "And I will not expect that of you,"

The waters were still rushing but they seemed to take a different path now, all falling to the street and other rooftops, and none upon his stone hide. He could feel the sadness and remorse on the wind but he couldn't reach it, not unless he wanted him to.

So he reached up and took the long calloused hand in his own. He didn't squeeze or grip, he simply held him in a loose hold, giving him the option to pull away should he wish to. But he didn't. "I ask you not as a student or a colleague, but as a friend," he held the green gaze, "Jushiro-san,"

And the green eyes averted, the smile fell away and the shoulders sagged.

And the rain fell down, drenching him with relentless force. Byakuya stood strong against the wave, he had asked for this, it would not do to crumble now. Another terse silence followed and slowly he could feel the emotions being reeled back in. It was... surprising to find his old teacher so broken.

He had no expected it.

"Your grandfather was part of an old society," He had been silent so long that Byakuya actually started when he began speaking. His gaze finally lifting to meet his own, the green eyes guarded and dark "It was created many years before the academy was ever established, and reflected ancient laws that the four noble houses held dear,"

The hand tightened ever so slightly, "That old society enforced those laws,"

Byakuya waited for him to continue. The sky still darkening as the stars plopped up in the heavens.

"There were many of them," he said, "Some gave them rights to claim land without payment, wage war without cause or even kill without fear of consequence. The laws were ruthless and left nothing for the poorer folk"

He nodded, he remembered the stories his great aunt once told him. Times had been harder all around and the nobles had fed off that hardship. Today it was different of course and the practice had been stopped over two thousand years ago. New laws were created. Making sure the noble families could not exploit hardships like that anymore.

Times had changed.

He found the hand almost gripping his shoulder now, not just holding it. As if Ukitake gathered strength from it.

"There was one rite that was very obscure but still enforced on occasion, even after the new laws had been instated" he continued in his steady voice, "They called it Claim. The closest equivalent I think you know is fuck"

Byakuya blanched, "I do not appreciate such language in my presence,"

Ukitake laughed, "No, 'FUCK', Fornication Under Command of the King" he smiled at the blank look Byakuya still had, "It was used in the living world many, many years ago. Kings had the right to take any woman that was about to be married for their own pleasure before the husband could even touch her. But even long before that our four noble houses also had a form of it,"

The hairs rose at the back of his neck. There was a darkness pressing in as the rain fell. Shadows shifted, something was wrong.

"In the case of our own nobles they didn't only take brides," he said, "The law stated they could take any man or woman who was beneath them in rank or class,"

The rain fell down harder...

"Each chose their partners in different ways,"

Slammed into his resolve.

"But in order to keep them from being claimed by someone else they had to be bound…"

The flames flared.

"By a scarlet sash"

Byakuya's grip tightened around the silk garment. His heart beat rapidly picking up speed. Ukitake was still speaking, he was still explaining something to him but it had turned into background noise. The rain was rushing down now in greats rolls of showers and gusts of wind. He stood against this onslaught but the fires within him _burned_.

Outwardly he was calm, and with an elegant move he reached up and pushed the hand away from his person.

Ukitake stopped talking.

Inside he was raging, inside he could feel the unwanted emotion eat him alive.

He stared coldly at the man he had trusted and with as much ice as he could muster he said in a clipped steel tone the first word that burned to be said.

"Liar."

And moved out of the rain.

* * *

Okay damn this thing was HARD... I reeeeeely tried but if it didn't work lemme know and I will rewrite it... again. Like I've done this thing over four times now and I'm going nuts _ still... I give myself an A for effort -_- Any reviews are welcome and give me strength for the next seven chapters!

Thanks for reading :)


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